No Such Thing
by princessshutyoassup
Summary: A tragic love story because there is no such thing as a happy ending.
1. Chapter 1

She still thinks about the day she and Austin met. But she doesn't look back with glee or smile at the thought. She mentally smacks herself. It was bad enough that Trish was involved into this. Now she has Austin and Dez to worry about.

The four of them were inseparable now. Austin and Ally obviously had feelings for each other and everyone knew it. When they broke up Austin and Ally decided it was mutual. Although Ally had external reasons for breaking it off. She was saddened by their break up yet relieved. No one besides Ally's dad and herself knows the reason.

Lately she felt weaker and she could feel time was getting closer to an end. Before Ally had met Austin she was diagnosed with Lupus. She has lived so far with Lupus for four years. Her symptoms are usually easy to hide. Her most common symptom is her knees swelling. When this happens she just wears longer dresses. Having Lupus it is hard to go into the sun light and that's the real main reason she hates the beach. Sometimes she gets really tired or her joints hurt.

"ALLY!" she turned from writing in her book to see a very excited Austin running in the store. Ally hates her self for staying friends with him knowing she's a time bomb. Every day she is closer to a casket. She recently got a record deal and Austin got back from tour. Even though Ally is finally getting the stardom she has always wanted all she wants is to end it. Because no matter how famous she gets, it will not change what's going on. Now she was involving fans too. This was not going to end well for anyone.

"Hey Austin. What are you so excited for?" she asked.

"I just found out the mall has a new restaurant its called…"He was cut off by Trish walking in saying, "Guess who got a job at _Pan You Dig It_?" Trish was smiling and wearing a pancake on her head.

"Trish I was just about to tell Ally about that place. Thanks a lot. But anyways it is a restaurant all about PANCAKES!" Ally thought he looked so cute grinning ear to ear. That nearly slapped her in the face. It hurt her so much seeing them happy. What was she doing?

"That looks like a win win." she tried to sound happy for them but her latest doctors appointment had her on edge. Her dad interrupted her rain of thought and nearly exposed everything.

"Als what did Dr. Danes say at the appo…." He froze as he looked up from the trumpet he was holding and saw Trish and Austin looking confused and worried. "Oh heeyyyyy Austin and Trish. How are you guys doing? Nice weather isn't it? Oh Trish are you working at the new pancake place. Austin have you heard of that place yet. Gotta go." he disappeared into his office.

Austin and Trish looked dumbfounded . Ally was horrible about lying but knew she wasn't ready to tell people yet. She didn't know what to do. Austin broke the silence. "Ally what was he talking about. Why did you go to the Doctor? Is there something wrong?" the color drained from his face as did Trish.

"Uh of course not. It was just an everyday check up. You know." she sniffed and turned away to gather herself. This was really hard for her. When she turned back to them they still had not gained their color, so she continued her lie. "I have always had tonsil problems and they have been bothering me again so I went in for a check up. Dr. Danes said it was fine and just gave me some antibiotics. They already feel better." Ally put on her best smile. Although their color came back they still didn't seem convinced. Luckily Dez barged in with a pie and a stuffed giraffe.

As he explained the his situation Ally zoned him out and wrote more in her book. Only when she was with Austin was she able to write happy upbeat songs. He kept her mind off of reality. A tear slid down her cheek as she wrote without her even realizing it. Though she did not realize everyone else did. Austin wiped it away and Ally looked into his eyes. Tears stung as they begged to pour down her face but she would not let them. Instead she did the thing she should have done along time ago. Raising her head more to see all their faces she said, "I decided to apply to the school in New York again and got accepted. I leave tomorrow. Sorry but I have to go pack." She did not look them in the faces as she strode out the store leaving the three most important people in her life behind. Once she knew they did not follow and she was out of sight Ally let the tears fall. Ally really hoped they believed her lie yet again.

On the walk home she finally stopped crying and called her dad to recon. On the third ring he answered.

"Hey sweetie. Sorry about earlier. I left because I did not want to make it worse. But what happened before you left? The guys looked scared. Austin most of all." he was silent, then realized something. "Did you tell them?"

"No. At first I told them I had a tonsil appointment. Then I couldn't fight the feeling things were only going to get worse. So I told them I'm leaving tomorrow to go to that school in New York. I walked out before they could protest. Dad what am I going to do? I feel like every second I make it worse." Mr. Dawson had got used to the fact he was going to lose his daughter. He wasn't happy about it but being upset all the time was only going to make it harder on his daughter.

"Ally I can't tell you what to do. Hell I have never been in a situation even close to this so if I wanted to I wouldn't now how. I will tell you the most common over rated speech ever. Honey, just follow your heart. Listen to your heart and it will work out. If it is meant to be it will be." He quietly laughed at himself. Soon Ally did to and next thing you they were loudly laughing at nothing. A moment like that had not happened in a very long time. This phone call helped a lot more than she had hoped for.

"Thank you dad. I'm home now so I will see you later. Love you." they had never really said I love you when they hung the phone until recently. They don't know why they started it but for some reason it helped. "Your welcome sweetie. See you later after work. Love you too."

Ally walked into her house and plopped down on the couch. It wasn't until she sat down that she realized how tired she was. Within seconds she passed out. Lately all she had were nightmares but then she had a wonderful dream.

_ They were sitting in a meadow basking in the sun. It was perfect. Austin lay next to Ally with his eyes closed. His hair was shining in the sunlight. It made Ally. It was if Austin could sense her smile because he smiled too and opened his eyes. He propped himself on his elbow and looked down at her. _

"_Ally you are so beautiful." he stopped and his smile faded. "But why couldn't you just tell me. If you would have told me, then I would have been able to prepare myself for what happened. Ally I lost you. I thought you were in New York but then I saw you dad and he told me you were gone. I didn't know what to do. I lost you then I lost it. Why? I miss you so much. I.. Ally I l…ALLY…ALLY._

Ally woke with a start. Austin was yelling her name and banging on her door. Now or never Ally thought. She stood up a little dizzy but shook it off. As Ally opened the door Austin had puffy eyes. It looked like he had been crying. Austin never cried unless he and Dez had just watched a chick flick. Ally gulped. After staring at each other for what felt like hours Ally broke the silence. "H-hi Austin. W-what are you doing h-here?" she spit out. "ALLY!" he screamed scaring her. He realized this and calmed down. "Ally. What is going on? Why didn't you tell me? When did you decide to leave?" his voice rose again, "WHEN DID YOU DECIDE TO APPLY AGAIN? WHAT ABOUT YOUR CAREER? WHAT ABOUT…" he took a breath and calmed down, "….us?" He looked scared and hurt. Ally couldn't take what she was doing. This reminded her of her dream. She decided to listen to her heart. It was telling her to tell everyone everything.

"Austin. I'm sorry but I lied. Please forgive me." she pleaded. "There is something I need to tell you. I need to tell everyone. But I am scared." she let out breathlessly. Now she was looking at her feet. Slowly she met his gaze again and it was unreadable.

"Ally just tell me. Please?"

"Austin I don't know how. I-I-I…" Ally was a white as a ghost. Then she realized the longer she waited the worse she would make it. "Austin I'm dying…dying to tell you I-I love you." She couldn't believe herself. If anything she just double her problems. Damn it Ally why do you always do this. Austin was blank. Then all of a sudden he changed. He reached out his arm and pulled her close. Austin pressed his forehead to hers and lightly placed a kiss on her lips. She was taken aback when he did it again Ally was prepared and kissed back. Soon Austin deepened the kiss and begged for entrance. She allowed it and tangled her hands in his hair.

Even though Ally was living her fantasy she couldn't help but feel guilty. She felt like a complete ass. But he took her train of thought in a totally new direction. Austin held her close tracing the inside of her mouth with his tongue. He lowered her on the couch. Ally made the first move by playing with the hem of his shirt. He stopped and removed his own shirt. Her mouth flew open. She had never noticed how beautiful he really was and this made him smirk widely.

Austin found his way up her shirt massaging her breast. Not able to handle himself anymore he ripped off her shirt quickly. He kissed he lips again softly and then moved down her body. As he nibbled on her neck she moaned. Austin looked into her eyes and told her the one thing that scared her, "Ally I love you so much and I always have. It was only recently I noticed it and I'm sorry it took me so long."

Right then reality hit Ally like a brick. She lost her color and pushed him off of her. This hurt him.

"Ally what's wrong is it something I said?" he looked heart broken.

"Austin I can't do this. I haven't been completely honest. For your own sake please tell me you hate me and you never want to see me again. Leave and never come back. Do this for me. I am not good for you. I will only hurt you. This is not a love story. If it were it would be Romeo and Juliet and know one wins in that one. So please, please, please leave." Ally begged as tears poured down her cheeks.

"W-hat? NO! Never, I can't. I won't. Being without you would kill me. Ally please what ever happens I am not leaving you. Ever. And I would rather be your Romeo any day than to never see you again. I meant what I said." He looked angry but was holding it back for Ally's sake.


	2. Chapter 2

The tears were begging exit yet again. Ally was confused. She loves Austin but she couldn't do that to him. They had been staring at each other for what felt like years when he broke the silence. "Ally tell me what's going on." he looked drained. What was she to do. Tell him and let him witness her slow death or try to force him away and hopefully prevent him from hurting to much. Ally being the dumb ass she is she went with option two.

"AUSTIN STOP! Didn't it ever occur to you that I don't want you to stay around. Do you want the truth? The truth is I am not going to school in New York and I don't love you. I made all that up because I didn't know how to tell you that I don't want to be your partner anymore. Happy? I think it best if you leave and don't come back. And stay away from sonic boom." Ally hated herself but she held her ground and kept looking in his eyes. She only broke contact to walk to the door and open it for him. Austin could not breath. He grabbed his shirt and threw it on. He got to the door way and turned to face Ally. His eyes were glossy and she could tell he was also holding back tears. That did not stop ally from keeping her ground.

"Ally I do not understand. I wish I could but obviously you don't want me to know. You may not love me, hell you may even hate me. I wish you didn't but what can I do? Knowing all this does not change how I feel. I still love you. I wont give up on you, but I wont push you or make you do anything. Simply I will just wait for you." Austin said calmly. Ally felt like she was stabbed straight threw the heart. She replied coldly, "You will be waiting forever." Ally before slamming the door in his face. She then slid down the door and let the tears rain. She has never cried so hard.

When the door slammed in his face he couldn't take it anymore and let his tears fall. Austin never cried even when his grandpaw died. Deep down he knew Ally was lying but that didn't matter because she was set on her decision. Austin knew that when Ally set her mind to something she did not budge. This scared the living hell out of him. What if he never saw her again. What was he gonna do? He ran home in minutes. When home he ignored his parents question and ran straight to his room and slammed the door. He didn't understand. Austin couldn't take it and smashed his fish into his wall leaving a gaping hole.

For the next three day Ally nor Austin left his or her rooms. Neither had had anything to eat or drink. Ally realized her lifespan was ending soon so she got out of bed and took a shower, got dressed, and headed to sonic boom. She wore a tight floral dress with teal heals with her hair hanging lose down her back. Looking in the mirror she actually felt pretty. She thought about the kiss. All she could think about the past three days was that kiss.

She wanted to run into his arms and never let go. She wanted to kiss him and make love to him. She wanted to apologize and tell him she loved him more than life. And that she would love him for ever. But if she did they would be empty words. Now he could move on and be happy. One day get married have kids and live in a mansion bought buy the millions he made from singing. He would get watch his grandkids open their presents on Christmas. He would die old, sleeping warm in his bed. The world would morn their legend and he would rest in peace with no regrets. That is why she had to end it now before it escalated to extremes.

Sometimes she felt like she felt sorry for herself. Like she overreacted to her situation. Maybe she did but that was her way of coping. If over reacting caused her to push everyone away then so be it. It made it easier. She had thought a lot about her record deal. Ally decided to finish the album but not make another one. She would resign and drift away from fame. There had been enough time to reflect on her coming death so she accepted it. She just could not accept the pain she was going to put everyone else in. Death did not scare her, grief did.

When she walked into sonic boom Trish was there waiting. This worried Ally. Now she was going to have to tell her what the doctor said. Trish was dressed wild as always. Shiny pink skinny jeans with blue cheetah print shirt and black flats with giant bows on them. Her out fits put Ally in a good mood. Trish was loud, couldn't keep secrets, and was very unreliable. She may be all these things but she is still Alls best friend since kindergarten. Without Trish Ally doesn't know how she would have made it this far. Yeah she had Austin but he didn't know what was going on. With Trish she could talk about what was happening. This made her smile knowing they had each other, then her smile faded and turned to a frown because she realized something. Trish would be there til Ally's end but Ally would not be there til Trish's end. This saddened Ally and made her miss her bed. All she wanted to do was crawl into the fetal position and cry. Trish snapped her back to reality when she spoke.

"Hey Ally. How is it going. Thought you would be in New York by now. Hahaha." we laughed together.

"Oh yeah. I told him. Well I sort of told him. I mostly yelled at him. Have you talked to him?" Trish sighed.

"Ally he's not good. I haven't talked to him but Dez has and he's broken. He hasn't eaten anything in days or left his room. What did you tell him? He said he's done with singing. I don't know if he will recover this without you. Ally I know your time is…short", she took a breath to calm down, "but I think he would rather be there for you than watch you do this on your own. I know I can't make you do anything but I can tell you what I think is best. I really don't want to say this but if you push him away I might be burr-rring to fr-riends before I know it." her voice quivered and she started to cry uncontrollably. Ally hugged her and tried best to calm her down. This broke Ally in half. She had never thought of it that way. Would Austin really give up without her. She couldn't help but blame herself. Ally wished she would have moved away the second she found out about her illness. She could have avoided this all and secluded herself. Right now she could be in another state, secluded, and dieing alone in her bed. That way no one would be hurt. There was no need to dwell on it because what done was done. Now she had to fix it all.

Trish broke away and pulled herself together. She half smiled and then went completely serious. "Ally I know your thinking about him. Go to him and tell him the _truth_ this time. Please for me. For him." Ally nodded and hugged her once more before walking out the door and heading to Austin's house.

Time flew by as she walked there. It seemed like before she knew it she was standing on his porch ready to knock. After taking a few breaths and gaining courage she knock three times and waited. No one answered so she knocked three more times. Again no answer. No cars were here so she assumed he was alone. That meant he was ignoring all visitors. Being bold she tired the door and it was open. Slowly she entering taking in everything. His house smelled like Austin. His smell calmed her yet made her heart rate speed up. She missed him immensely. Calming down once again she walked up his stairs to his room.

As she reached his room she paused in front his door to listen. She heard his steady breathing and suddenly everything around her disappeared. All she could hear was him. All she could see in her mind was him. Getting bold yet again she opened his bedroom door slowly. He lay there on his stomach red eyed and drained. Ally's heart sunk to her feet. Austin didn't hear her enter because he was too focused on reflecting. He thought his mind was playing tricks on him because he could smell her. He squeezed his eyes tight in frustration. Ally hated seeing him this way so she spoke up.

"Hey Moon, can we talk?" she put on a smile as he opened his eyes to look at her. At first he thought he was imagining it. To make sure he got up slowly and made his way over to stand in front of her. Even in heels he towered Ally. Gently he rose his hand to cup her face. Austin then knew she was real. He didn't know what to say. She had humiliated him and broke him into a million pieces. Then she threw him the gutter. Was he supposed to be nice. NO! He ripped his hand away and anger grew.

"I thought you said I'd wait forever. Why are you here? Did you want to humiliate me some more like a little toy." Ally gasped but knew he was right. "What are you surprised? I am not just gonna let you treat me like some doll. Ally you destroyed me. Are you happy now? Did you get what you wanted?"

"You couldn't be more right. I was a bitch. I thought that was the only way to help you. Then I realized this way was only going to make it worse. I know nothing I say can forgive what I said, but I do love you and I can't imagine life without you. I had not realized how dependent I was on you until this. I thinks it is time I told you the truth. Austin I am so sorry,", she broke off and started crying, "I have a rare disease and it's killing me. I don't know how long I have but my time is getting closer to its end. Again I'm sorry." Austin just stared while life drained his body.


	3. Chapter 3

Austin thought the past three days were bad and nothing could be worse. Then Ally told him she was dying. He was in shock. He could not understand why. Why would God want to take Ally. Of all people why Ally. Austin wished he could switch places. It was bad enough knowing Ally did not want to see him. Now she would not be able to. He left his daze to see a broken Ally. Realizing he had been standing there for a while silent he stepped forward to hold her but she shrugged him off.

Ally wasn't sure how Austin would react to the news. After it was done he stood frozen just staring at her. That was enough for her. She knew he would try to comfort her and she didn't want that. Constantly her dad and Trish would hug her or help her out for no reason. The last thing she need was Austin's sympathy too. She did not want, need, or care for others pity. Anger built up in when he tried to hold her. NOO. What had she done. Now things would constantly be awkward between them. She sometimes wished the disease would take her already.

"Ally I didn't know. I'm sorry. I'm here for you wh…"Ally cut him off.

"Please don't do that too. Everyone else does that. They pity me and I'm sick of it. Now you know but nothing will change. Okay? I can't let things get weird between us. If they do then it could ruin what time we have left." a single tear fell down her face. "I can't lose you now. Please just try your best to act normal. For me." Ally begged.

"Ally you are my world. I only want one thing to change and I want that to be your relationship status. Ally will you be my girlfriend?" he grabbed Ally's hand and ran his thumb over her knuckles. How could she say no to those eyes. But what if he was just saying this because she was dying. "No." Austin knew she was too good for him and so did she. Now he would have to watch her with other guys and watch her life fade away.

"Oh." he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Ally I get it. You are too good for me. But I still love you and I'm here for you. Nothing changes. How about we go get something to eat. Mini's?" he looked heart broken. Ally couldn't take him being un happy.

"Austin in no way am I to good for you. To be honest I love you and have for a while. I just don't know how I can be sure you are doing this to because of the situation or because you really hav…" he shut her up with a soft gentle kiss. Ally snaked her hands around his neck. Austin grabbed her waist pulling her close. Surprisingly Ally ran her tongue along Austin's lips asking for entrance. He kindly granted her wish. They each battled for dominance but in the end Austin won. All was honestly relieved for once in a long time someone didn't go easy on her.

His hands lowered to her ass and gripped it enough to go noticed but not hurt. Ally's moan sparked something. He deepened the kiss and turned from love to lust. She decided to have some fun. Her hands lowered to the hem of his shirt and lightly tugged it upward. A smile grew on his lips and let out a slight laugh breaking the kiss. Ally took advantage of this and yanked his shirt over his head. This turned him on and his eyes grew dark with lust. Then next kiss was hungry. Still holding her ass he picked her up and gently laid her on the bed. Looking down at her was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She glowed under neither him. He wanted her so bad.

Ally ran her hands along his toned muscles and loved every second of it. She grabbed the back of his neck and pulled his face to hers. She felt his hand snake up her dress to her breast. This drove her insane. Wearing a dress his hands brushed her legs on their way up. He massaged them like he did three days ago. Not wanting to wait she pulled away from the kiss and made them sit up. Without breaking eye contact she pulled free the tight material threw it on the floor to join his shirt. His stare could not leave her matching under garments. Today she wore a black thong and the black lacey bra. His pants grew tighter. Seductively she laid back down on the bed pulling him down with her.

Austin wanted to be inside her now but didn't want to hurt her. Slowly she unbuttoned his jeans and hooked her fingers into the loops and yanked them down. He helped her the rest of the way and discarded of them. Now only underwear separating them. They resumed kissing. His member was tent in his boxers and brushed against her making her moan. "Austin." hearing his name drove him insane. He reached around unhooking her bra. I was slung across the room. Feeling shy she tried to cover herself. Austin stopped her and held her hands in his own.

He dropped kiss along her jaw then her neck. The kisses lowered until they reached her hard nipples. Surprised Ally breath hitched and she quivered. Taking this as a good sign he wrapped his mouth around her breast sucking and nibbling. Then he switched to the next. Ally's head was thrown back, eyes closed, and mouth open.

"A-Austin. I need you now." she didn't have to ask him twice. He slid his hands into he thong and yanked them off. Unable to handle it she put her hand in his boxers grabbing his member. She gripped it slightly and started to stroke it gently. Austin moaned and kisses her deeper so she went fast but stopped to pull of his boxers. This left him completely naked. Austin broke the kiss pissed that she had stopped. She smiled knowing what she had done.

Austin decided since she was gonna be dirty, he would play dirty. Kissing down her body tasting everything her reach right above her thong. Biting it with his teeth he took them off of her. "Oh Austin."

Smiling he tasted her wetness. Working his tongue he sent Ally into a frenzy. Austin enter one finger feeling her insides. After working it a little he added another and pumped a few times. Feeling her start to convulse he halted.

His hands grabbed her hips almost completely swallowing her. Reaching her lips again they began to kiss gentle first then ruff. They were both ready and waiting for the other to make the first move. After a minute of nothing Ally made to next move grinding against him, "Austin I can't wait any longer."

"Ally tell me what you want me to do and I will do it." he said hoarsely.

"I want you to fuck me. NOW!" wanting to please he aligned himself at her entrance. Looking at her once more for approval she nodded and he glided slowly into her. She dug her nails into his back and let a tear roll down her face. He stopped and let her adjust. Without opening her eyes she nodded again. He pulled out and push back in a little faster. Again waited and she nodded. This time he didn't stop to check because she tried to meet his pace. After a few thrust they were at the same speed.

"Faster." he did as told and went deeper and deeper until he completely filled her. Ally had never felt such pleasure and was moaning loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Suddenly she prayed his parents did not come home. Soon the thought left her head when Austin stopped kissing her and nibbled on her breast. She could help but yell. "Ahhh Austin don't stop!"

"Ally you are so tight. You feel do good." she could feel herself and him getting close. Her nails dug into his back yet again. Austin felt themselves getting close and he wanted to release so badly. Yet he wished it could last forever. Nothing last forever sadly. Then he remembered Ally wasn't going to last forever. Austin couldn't control the tear that ran down his face. Luckily Ally had her eyes closed in ecstasy so she didn't see it leave his eye. Now it blended with the sweat they both released.

All thoughts seized when Austin and Ally came to their release at the same time. They held each other as they calmed down from their high. Ally could not believe she actually had an orgasm the first time she had sex. That hardly ever happens to virgin girls. Once relaxed he pulled out of her and held her close. She buried her face in the crook of his neck. She loved every moment of this. The fact she made love to the one she loved was the best feeling ever. Knowing she tripled her problems was the worst feeling ever.

Austin loved holding her in his arms and could not believe he just made love to the love of his life, his best friend, his partner, his reason for living. He really didn't want things to change like she requested but how could they not. Just holding her he felt she might break. Not knowing how long he had made it harder. Did she have years, months, weeks? Days? He was never going to let her go. How could he? What would he do after she was gone? He decided not to think like that. He just needed to enjoy the time he had and make it count.

Ally looked up to him and kissed his nose, then gently his lips. They broke the kiss and returned to snuggling. Before now she had accepted death and was okay with it. Now she hated death. She hated what it was going to do to Austin. She had to convince him to never give up on life. To keep singing for her. Live the life she would never get. Get married and die accomplished. They would see each other again one day and he was worth waiting for. A few tears slid down her face. She hoped he didn't notice. Sadly she was wrong. "Ally, sweetie what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all." she tried to sound convincing. "I am just so happy to have made love to my love." Secretly she hated it because now they just became Romeo and Juliet. No one wins in that story. Austin wasn't dumb enough to kill himself though. Right? More tears came out. This time he didn't just let it slide. "Ally I know there something your not telling me. Please?"

"I'm scared what you will do when I'm gone. You can't give up like you did the past few days. You have to go live life. Do it for me. Live the life I'll never get. Get married have kids. Love them and love your wife. Live a long happy life together. Watch your kids graduate. Open gifts on Christmas with the grandkids and don't have any regrets. Do this for me. Don't miss anything. Promise me." she rose her red eyes to look into Austin's.

"I will do all those things if you promise me something." he said.

"And what would that be?" she said breathlessly.

"You experience them with me. Marry me?" he whispered pulling off his class ring and positioning it on her finger waiting for her answer whether or not she said yes.


	4. Chapter 4

"No", she answered calmly. "sorry I can't. You have so much ahead of you. All I'll bring you are broken promises and a broken heart." Everything was going to be different. It would all change for the worst. Ally was tired and wanted to cuddle with him all night but she also wanted to run and hide like she always did. Yet again being a dumb ass she chose option two. "I should have never done this. I'm sorry I have to go." slowly moving away Austin wrapped his arms around her body pulling them close. Deep down she was relieved because she was extremely sore.

"Ally I'm never letting you go. I finally got you and you want to leave. No, you can't. You mean to much to me. I don't understand why you keeping trying to run and hide for everyone else's sake. Do something for yourself. Ally stop considering my worries and do what you want. Tel me Ally, what do you want?" Ally held back more tears and stayed strong. She didn't know what was right.

"Austin. I love you more than life itself but these things you ask from me will never happen. I don't have time for kids, anniversaries, or even marriage. I could have years or months I don't know. My disease is progressing to my kidneys and it has caused damage. If it gets much worse my kidneys will fail. Then ill have to have dialysis or a transplant. Theses things don't always work. So again sorry no." she got the courage to stand up and get dressed. Before she walked out she looked at him one more time. He grabbed for her hand but she shrugged him off and left him broken hearted yet again.

Ally had considered other alternatives before like ending it with pills or a knife. But she didn't really know if this was going to kill her so she didn't want to end it just yet. She hated herself she had done it again. She left Austin alone to suffer. Tomorrow she would convince him to move on. But how? Deep down she knew she couldn't do that. It would only end up worse for him. There is know telling what he would do because they never actually promised anything. Ally had said no to his part of the deal so she figured it canceled hers as well. She could move away but that's the same pain.

Once she was out of Austin's house she started to cry again. "Why? Why me, huh God? I know your not supposed to ask why but I'm sick of playing this game. All I do it hurt people." her rant her turned into full fledge scream. She didn't care who heard or what they thought. "Everyone I love have to sit here and wait. Wait and watch not knowing what will happen will we going out or will they be burying me. But I guess that is just all apart of your game you call life. Well are you happy? You are winning. Then again you are the only who ever wins. No one dies a virgin in this world because they all get fucked in the end anyway. Maybe I am done with being a toy. I think I'll end it tonight! This time for real though. I won't chicken out again but don't worry we won't spend eternity together because I plan on going to hell with the rest of the sinners." little did she know she had done this not far from Austin's house and he was right behind her hearing every word she had said. Taking a breath she went to walk away but heard someone behind her. Only to turn and reveal to herself the one and only Austin Moon.

"Ally what did you mean? Are you going to kill yourself?" Austin couldn't believe his ears. He had had enough. "Are you crazy? You have made it this far and even you said it you could still have years or could even get better. Why would you just give up? Have you tried before?"

"I once took a whole bottle of Tylenol but gagged myself and puked them up immediately. I was to chicken then. It was before I hurt you. Twice. It seems all I do it hurt everyone around me. I Figured I could end it now before it got worse."

"Ally don't you realize killing yourself would make it worse. I do not want to give up on you. But you have to stop pushing me away. Stop considering what's best for me and do what's best for you. How many times do I have to tell you this before it finally registers. You are the sick one but what you are doing is killing _me!_ Do you understand?" Austin looked agitated.

"I'm sorry. I'll try I really will but only if you stop planning this huge future for us. I might make it or I might now. Either way I don't want to plan and get either of our hopes up. Lets just stick with three simple words. Okay?"

"Okay only for now though." Adding a smile to his face Austin said, "And by the way what three words would you be preferring?"

"Oh don't be a smart ass you know what they are. And if you ever want to kiss me again you better figure it out." she smiled.

" I think you might give first. I have heard I am pretty irresistible. Some might even say perfect."

" I think who ever they are lied." with that she licked her lips and moved closed to him and pressed their bodies together. Raising her hand she drew circles on his chest sending electricity with every touch. He leaned down trying to brush his lips across hers but instead she moved her head and his lips met her cheek. His eyes flew open to see her smirking and running back into the house ready for another round. Austin did not argue and yelled after her, "I love you." then took off to join her inside.

A little over and hour had passed and they lay in each others arms just thinking about what could come. Could he still do this in 50 years or did he only have 5 years. Either way she was here now and that was enough for him.

**2 MONTHS LATER**

So far Ally was still there. Though her condition had gotten worse she was still with them. Today she had another appointment. Austin had starting going with her after he found out but today her had to go to Starr Records and when he tried to cancel on Jimmy Ally wouldn't let him. "Austin I will be fine. You need to go. Its just another check up Go record another hit." she smiled and gave him a quick kiss pushing him out of Sonic Boom. She knew she was getting worse and that today it wouldn't be good news because lately she was even more tired. Ally just couldn't let Austin miss another day at the studio. Because of her he had missed three days already and she knew Jimmy would not just let that slide.

Trish had a job interview today so she didn't ask her and Dez did not even like hearing about her disease so he was out. And her dad was covering her shift so she could go this meant she was on her own. Ten minutes later it was time to head over to her appointment. "Dad! I'm leaving be back as soon as I can."

Her dad came down the stairs and took her place at the counter. Without saying a word he waved her goodbye and tended to a customer. Ally still held guilt for what she puts everyone through but her and Austin had discussed it and she wasn't allowed to dwell on those thoughts anymore. But no matter how much he asked her not to she still did. She couldn't help it, it was really all she thought about. Ally tried to think of other things and sometimes she could but it would always come back.

Before she knew it she was in front of her doctors office. It looked like any other office. Old magazines, sick people, and that particular smell. After signing in she sat down and waited. After 20 minutes of nothing her phone bored her so she grabbed magazine. On the front of one of the pages was Austin Moon. This brought a smile to her face. She was so happy her got the fame he always wanted. Without her it may have never happened and that made her realized this was all worth it. He got his dream and hopefully the girl of it too. After reading the article the elderly nurse came out calling, "Ally Dawson"

Ally got up and took a breath before she started to walked. Standing up she was actually winded. Going threw the mandatory steps she sat on a bed after giving a urine test. Ally was joined by the nurse and she asked normal questions. Then she asked a new one. "Are you sexually active?" This took Ally by surprise but she answered. "Yes mam." She responded shyly.

"There is nothing to be ashamed of or scared about. It's a very natural thing. We just need to know in to warn you about pregnancy and so we can look out for that. In your case getting pregnant can be very dangerous for the child. Just use protection and be careful. Okay the doctor will be in soon." she smiled and left.

Ally felt as if she was hit with a ton of bricks. How could she be so stupid? They had not used protection the first two times they had sex. But what were the odds she would get pregnant. She checked her calendar on her phone only to remember she had deleted that app to get a better one. Only she never got a new one. She tried to remember her last period. It had been so long she could not remember. When Dr. Danes entered she hid her worries and let him finish the examination.

Once she left she ran to the nearest drug store and bought four pregnancy test. Instead of going back to Sonic Boom she called her dad and told him nothing had changed and made an excuse saying she was tired and needed some rest asking him to cover the rest her shift. He kindly accepted and told her to get plenty rest. She ran home which was a bad idea because when she got there she couldn't breath and almost collapsed. Finding the strength she went straight to her bathroom and took two. She would take the other two in the morning. Ally had heard they are more accurate then.

Two minutes felt like two day but soon her phone went off and two pink lines shown on each stick verifying her worst fear. She broke down and cried until she couldn't cry anymore. From constant crying she started heaving and then choking and then throwing up. Luckily she got it in to toilet. Don't look down came on notifying her Austin was calling. Knowing she couldn't hide her tone she pressed the ignore button. She doesn't remember much but falling asleep on the floor.

Austin tried calling Ally to see how her appointment went and wanting to hang out but then it stop ringing. That meant she ignored it. Why would she ignore her boyfriends call. That scared him so he tried her dad and said she went home so he drove straight from Starr Records. It was a good thirty minutes away and with the lunch traffic it was even longer. What if something happened to her is all her could think.

It had been 45 minutes since she fell asleep so she decided to clean up a bit. She bagged up the boxes and tied them up. Then she threw that bag in the trash in the kitchen. She grabbed to tests and hid them in her sock drawer. Right after finishing brushing her teeth and pressing Austin's number to him someone knocked at the door. Hard yelling her name. She ran to open it to see a flustered Austin standing there.

"Austin what's wrong? Are you okay?" she was worried.

"I should be asking you that. I was so worried when you ignored my call. I knew you had the appointment today and when you didn't answer I thought…maybe you did something rash after some bad news." she didn't realize at the time what ignoring his call would do. She had to lie. After many small lies about what she was thinking or how she felt she had gotten better at it.

"Oh sweetie I'm so sorry I didn't mean to do that. After the appointment I was just a little tired so I came her to nap. I guess the call woke me but left me groggy so I didn't realize what I was doing. I'm sorry for worrying. And no news could make me do something so rash that I would want to leave you any sooner than I have too. I promise. I love you." she hugged him and he clung tight almost painful. "No I'm sorry I should have never over reacted. I should know better. I love you too." he said into her hair. She squeezed her eyes shut because now she really hated herself more than ever.

She was now responsible for yet another life. She wished now more than ever that she would have killed herself the moment she found out about her disease.


End file.
